For Understanding Men

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.

2. Crying is blackmail. If you're going to fight, then fight fair.

3. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

4. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Honesty and simplicity are refreshing.

5. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

6. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

7. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, but not both. If you want it your way, do it yourself.

8. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

9. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.